My name is Raphael and I acknowledge my capacity for violence.

I have struggled with non-violence and pacifism all my adult life. A couple of years ago I waffled and then found solid ground. I consider myself a radical pacifist. I refuse to kill, for any reason. I don't see much room in the Gospel for any other position.
I carried the quote below around in my heart for about 20 years, letting it wear a hole in my "defenses."

Being a pacifist is kinda like being an alcoholic.
Eventually, if the booze isn't going to kill you, you've got to be able to acknowledge you're an alcoholic. Then sit in a circle of people that are like that and put your hand up in the air and say, 'My name is Bruce, and I'm an alcoholic.' And then to begin to deal with the alcoholic behavior and have it described to you and deal with it.
And it is never going to change. You could be dry for twenty years and still be an alcoholic.
But it is going to save your life. And you're going to be fighting against that next drink every day of your life.
He said it's the same with a pacifist.
You've got to be able to do the same thing. Put your hand in the air and say 'I acknowledge my capacity for violence.'
And then you're going to deal with that violent behavior every minute and every situation every day for the rest of your life.
But it will save your life.
-- Utah Philips, quoting Ammon Hennacy

Then, I waffled a little. Until I heard this pair of podcasts from Fr Seraphim Aldea.
http://www.ancientfaith.com/podcasts/monkseyes/what_are_you_fighting_for
http://www.ancientfaith.com/podcasts/monkseyes/forgiveness_and_reflection
And I read Saint Silouan, the Athonite by Elder Sophrony.

Since then I have tried to live Psalm 26 (LXX). And remember that no matter what anyone does to me here, in this earthly life, they cannot essentially harm me. My true self is hidden with Christ in God and "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The Lord is my light, and my savior; whom then shall I fear? The Lord is the defender of my life; of whom then shall I be afraid?When they that had enmity against me, even mine enemies, and my foes, came nigh to eat up my flesh, they faltered and fell.Though a legion were laid against me, yet shall not my heart be afraid; and though there rise up war against me, yet will I put my trust in Him.Psalm 26 1-3 (LXX)